The Day I Married My Mother in Law

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Mother in Law Stories

The Day I Married My Mother in Law

Gazing into the den from the hot kitchen, I see a lioness licking chocolate from her claws while I slave over a hot boiling pot. And if I were an evil native, I'd know exactly what I would do with the lioness. Lucky for her, I am but a common hen-pecked man who is paying penance for marrying my mother in law - not in a true sense, rather in true form, for this she-devil has taken on the form of her mother.

Oh, it started out swell - my lioness more kitten than lion. But as the hands of time spun the web, slowly but surely my kitten grew claws - claws just like my mother in law. Then came the fangs and worst of all, the pouncing about - just like my mother in law.

I became the prey - the scared little mouse whose most common words uttered were, 'Yes dear,' while the stallion within slowly withered into a gelding.

As I gaze closer into the den, I suddenly have second thoughts for I am not quite sure what the kitten I married used to look like. The once golden mane lies locked inside of iron rollers - just like mother in law. The drab moo moo looks a lot like what mother in law wears - as do those bushy brows that match legs so thickly matted with hair that even a bush hog might find difficulty mowing down the mass.

Dinner smells good and is almost done as I again confirm my thoughts. And as I recollect my wise father's words, I twinge and wish that I had heeded his warning for his words were indeed true. For if I would have looked closely at my future bride's mother, I would have peered into the future. My future.

Perhaps tomorrow I will go on a walk through the concrete jungle. Perhaps I will buy a muzzle to contain her. Perhaps I'll-

"Dick!! Where's my dinner!! Dick!!! Do you hear me!!!!"

"Yes dear."

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