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'Z Mother In Law
MOTHER-IN-LAW MONSTER
Encourage her to seek some medical attention. This could be the root of all evil. She's operating on the Dr. Jeckle/Mr. Hyde theory.
Offer to go to counseling with her and your partner. Leave all weapons at home.
Enlist the help of your father-in-law. This is a guy who knows all the right buttons (literally) to push where 'Mother' is concerned.
Work out visitation rights; she gets your partner Monday through Friday and every third weekend. The brilliance behind this is that she'll be stuck with most of that wrinkly laundry. You'll have your honey for weekend adventure and fun! At all costs, fight to retain custody during the holidays. Those holiday light shows ooze romance. Mother can stay home and cook the holiday dinner since she's such a perfectionist.
If the mother-in-law's interference is too detrimental to the relationship then you and your partner may have to consider severing ties with her. This should be your last option. Moving to Siberia isn't fun.
Some things that should never do to Mothra - I mean Mother are:
Encourage her to binge on foods high in nitrates and cholesterol. That would be a poor reflection on your own health values.
Never give her a perfume that you know will give her a headache. That's equivalent to a grapefruit in the face and it's very uncouth in front of family as they watch Mother excitedly open her gifts. Ix-nay on the Cubic Zirconium as well. Remember, diamonds are a hag's best friend.
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