MIND OVER MOTHER - M O M
Code White/ Level 1 Iceberg
The Stoned Maidens
"You took my daughter away from me.
I cannot function (i.e. go shopping) without her."
Code Gray/Level 2
Mothers of the Storm (i.e. Hailcats)
"I wouldn't do it that way at all!
No wonder your life is so screwed up!
Now here is how I would do.."
Code Purple/Level 3
Old Windbag, THE wind beneath your wings...
"My daughter is spiritual & pure, just like me. How could she marry such a bastard?"
Code Blue/Level 4
Doctor Mom, Mommy Jeckle/Mommy Wants Your Hide
"I have a cure for everything. It's called divorce..."
Code Black/Level 5
Eye of the Hurricane - An ogre that reeks of testosterone.
"You took my son away from me.
How dare you pull him off my breast without even asking!!!"
Code Green/Level 6
Mother Earth Quake - Her feet don't touch the ground because she's walking all over you...
"You've never been there for me so you're going to take care of me for the rest of your life."
Code Yellow/Level 7
Volcanic Ass - Move over Mount Saint Helena.
Say something - say anything around some mother-in-laws and they'll chop your head off. A Code Yellow will kick it flat up your ass. Note: Generally occurs when mother is wearing her stiletto heels.....
Code Orange/Level 8
Tsunami - Where is the Lochness Monster when you really need her?
Yes, she reaches out, even from the grave with her cold cruel claws. She's never going to go away!
Code Red/Level 9
Nuclear Reactor - Fusing Mother to Nature can be quite volatile.
Unwanted, Dead or Alive
"I'm not happy, therefore you aren't going to be either!!! Give until it hurts because I sure as hell hurt when I had you!"
Code Taupe/Level 10
Sumo Rescue Required
"There's nothing wrong with ME. I am never wrong. I will never change. Liberals suck and so do you. And what's wrong with you? Can't you even think for yourself??"